Today I was struck again how lucky and/or blessed I am to be in the position I am in: a Ph.D student.
I promise I'm not trying to romanticize academia or put anyone down who isn't a Ph.D student or doesn't have their Ph.D. First of all, graduate work is tough. It's lonely. It's frustrating. There were many nights during my master's degree that I was so overwhelmed by how much work I had to do that I had to stop working and just watch Netflix for the rest of the night (and try not to feel guilty). I don't blame the people who choose not to continue on with their education. Even for the most dedicated, it's difficult to be dedicated 24/7 and not ask themselves, "Why am I doing this?"
I know quite a few people who chose not to continue, or desired to continue on with graduate work, but were not given the chance to continue. These are some of the most intelligent, talented people that I know. A few of my friends decided not to apply to other master's programs/doctorate programs, although it's likely they would have been accepted. They decided not to apply for various reasons, including money/student loans, mental health, and disinterest/contentment with their master's degree. I believe these are all fine reasons for not continuing. But their current issue is that there are not many jobs out there for people with a Master's degree in English (specifically, literature). Adjuncts get paid almost nothing. You might get to work in a book store or some place you might get to use the skills you learned in graduate school, but even this seems to be a fantasy. If this sounds like you, I wish you the best of luck, and I will tell you anything I find.
And still, some friends were not accepted into programs (or the programs they wanted to get into). There are a few different options for these people, although the person who chooses the second option ends up choosing the first option, too. The first option echoes those who choose not to continue their graduate work: these people can settle for jobs that may or may not include skills they learned from their master's degree. I do not mean to imply all of these jobs are terrible. In fact, one of my friends has a really awesome job where they work with social media AND they got to move to a great city. However, not everyone has the option to move, and not everyone has these skills needed for that kind of job. As you probably know, there are many intricacies that must align in order to find a (dream) job. The second option for those who still want to continue their graduate work is to wait and apply next year. This means, as I said above, finding a job in the mean time. Not everyone can live their lives on hold like this, though. It's also tough to muster up the courage, time, and money it takes to apply to graduate schools. Those of you who have applied again or are planning on applying again: I am impressed by you. If you know anyone who has done this, take the time to heartily congratulate them either for trying again or for being accepted.
Today, once again, I started thinking about all of these people who aren't continuing on with their graduate work, or who never had the chance. Before, I wondered if I was going to be one who wouldn't have the chance. Even when I started my master's degree, I didn't know if I would get the chance to get a Ph. D, or if I even belonged in academia: my peers seemed miles ahead of me. I can tell you that, yes, I worked hard for my bachelor's and master's degrees and where I am today. However, I also got lucky that I was accepted into a Ph.D program. As I said before, many talented individuals do not get accepted into programs. The university I am enrolled in right now apparently saw something in me and thought I fit into their program, and accepted me. While it's true this university is a state university--no where near ivy league--they could have just as easily rejected me, like some of the other universities (including other state universities) I applied to. Nevertheless, I will be starting school again this fall. After the class work, the language test, the preliminary exams, the dissertation, and everything else, I will have a Ph.D. This was something I dreamed about as I read "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass" for an undergrad summer class, sprawled out on a dorm room floor, contemplating if I should pursue graduate school. I dreamed about having a Ph.D when I read Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own my senior year of undergrad. All of the individuals like Frederick Douglass and Virginia Woolf (and countless others) who wanted to be educated in schools but were not able to stand in my mind (okay, I know I'm romanticizing, but sometimes I can't help but sentimentalize those who want to get education but do not have the means to) because, out of many people, I got the opportunity to be educated, continue graduate work and research, and become a professor who hopefully teaches her students useful things. Although I know the next four to five years are going to be demanding, I am still awestruck and grateful that I am able to do these things. So, yes, I work hard. But I also know I am lucky.
Note: I often use the singular version of "they" to keep the genders of the people I talk about ambiguous. Why do you need to know, anyway?
Also, I choose not to use the phrase "continuing their education." You can be educated anywhere, at any time. Instead, I use "continuing graduate work."
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